Chapter Text
TW:Mention of murder
- April 1976. My 17th Birthday is getting closer and I was so excited.
Nancy broke up with Bill 2 Months ago.
I felt so sorry for him and he really wasn’t doing too well the first month but he is getting better.
We were living in a small but cozy apartment but right now we were in California with his FBI Partner Holden Ford.
I really liked him. He was a nice, handsome and very intelligent young man.
It was always interesting to listen to their discussions about their recent cases.
I sometimes was even allowed to help a little with looking at the crime scene photos to see if we could find something that would help with solving the case.
I was sitting on the small couch, where I was supposed to sleep, opposite of the two small beds where Bill and Holden sleep.
Bill blew out his cigarette smoke in disbelief.
“What?”, Holden asked him.
I turned my head away from the TV and looked at the two men, listening closely to their Conversation.
“Really, what are you expecting to learn?”
Holden turned around to look at my uncle:”A killer who can’t stop talking? It’s a gift.”
“A Gift, huh?”, Bill asked, still not convinced.
“He made a severed head perform fellati* on him.”, he continued talking.
Holden rolled his eyes and turned back to the mirror.
Bill continued:”His third victim was a 15-year old child, Holden.”
Holden ignored him, checking his Tie.
“You don’t wanna talk?”, Bill asked him.
“So, basically, you just got me out here to carry your slide projector?”, Holden said while fixing his suit.
I looked between both men with an amused face. It’s always the same. They tease each other like that all the time.
“To help with the workload, yeah. The work we are sanctioned to do.”, Bill said.
Holden leaned forward and looked directly at the older man through the mirror.
“Kemper doesn't interest you or is beneath you somehow?”, he asked, not quite understanding his partner.
“A little of both.”
I let out a short laugh and Bill looked at me with an amused grin.
“Think the tie’s too much?”, Holden asked. “What about the suit?”
“If anybody finds out you’re a fed, there’ll be a riot. Shepherd finds out you have been interviewing the Co-Ed Killer as a side project he will flip his sh*t”, Bill casually answered.
Holden looked at me and I nodded, agreeing with my Uncle.
Then he said:”It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.”
Bill looked away, annoyedly.
“Okay. If you gonna go in, you need to go in stone goddamn cold, get him by surprise, get the f*ck out as quick as possible.”, Bill said while sitting up.
“Good advice.”, Holden nodded.
“Straight in there, don’t phone, don’t give them a chance to ask around.”
Their Conversation went on like that a little longer and they made up a good plan for Holden to get in and out safely.
Holden put his gun on and Bill asked:”What are you doing?”
“Just in case.”, Holden answered.
“Holden, they are not gonna let you in with your gun.”, I told him and Bill nodded
“The guy is six foot nine, weighs 300 pounds.”
"That's right.”, Bill casually answered.
“So what’s he gonna do?”, Holden asked while showing his holster?
“He’s gonna take the f*cking thing away from you, he is gonna kill you with it and then he’s gonna have sex with your face.”, Bill sternly said.
I chuckled at Holdens expression.
We all got ready and drove to the Prison where Kemper is held.
I was sitting in the back seat waiting for the man to finish talking.
Holden got out and said:”I don’t want to spoil your fun.”
“I’m good. Nine is fine.”, Bill answered.
I looked at the prison walls. I have never been this close to a real prison where all these extremely bad people were held.
I was astonished.
The men finished talking and me and Bill drove off again.
While driving I crawled into the front seat.
“Want to get some ice cream before we drive to the golf course?”, My Uncle asked and I smiled at him nodding.
“Good.”, he grinned.
“Do you think Holden will do a good job?”, I asked Bill.
“Not sure. I think he is gonna be very nervous though.”, He chuckled.
I laughed:”Yes. Kemper is how tall? Six nine? Jesus. I would be scared. But to be honest it definitely would be cool to see him in real life once.”, I said with a big grin.
“Oh I knew you were gonna say that.”, Bill laughed.
“Are you really not interested in that? If I was Holden's FBI Partner I would even hesitate to go with him.”
“Of course you would. You know.. It probably is interesting but I don’t think it’s worth it you know?”, Bill told me.
I nodded, thinking.
Bill stopped at an Ice cream shop and after we got our ice we drove off again.
**************************
“His OEUVRE? What the f*ck. He’s Stanley Kubrick?”, Bill asked, weirded out.
I let out a short laugh.
“He was EXTREMELY talkative.”
“He likes talking to cops. He’s lonely. He could do it all day.”, Bill said casually.
“He is not some frenzied thrill killer, Bill. I think we need to face that.”
“He chopped off women's heads and had sex with their corpses. If that’s not frenzied, I don’t know what is.”, Bill said.
I listened silently, like I always did.
“He is so articulate. He’s meticulous and highly intelligent.”
“Yeah. HE meticulously chose small young women as prey, who couldn’t fight back.”, Bill said, kinda annoyed.
“He is self aware and objective. Isn’t that unusual?”
The conversation lasted the whole drive back to the hotel. Holden tried to convince Bill to come with him next weekend but he had no chance.
The next weekend me and Bill went golfing again even though I would have loved to go with Holden but I knew that my Uncle would never let me do that.
For the next few weeks we were traveling every day. We often had to sleep in the car, on the plane or even at the airport. It was extremely exhausting.
At the last presentation someone asked Bill and Holden to help them with a case and to Holdens pleasure it was near Kemper and he of course wanted to talk to him again and this time he even convinced Bill to come with him.
In the meanwhile I had to stay in the Hotel room.
I actually had the courage to ask if I could come with them but Bill instantly said no.
When they came back they were both acting a little weird but I didn’t ask what was wrong and so we took the next night flight and flew back home.
*******************************
Back at home they told their Boss what they did and to the surprise of us all, they even got their own “Office”.
Well it was the basem*nt of the building but still a good place to do their work.
The two agents wanted to interview another serial killer but at the last second they got told that he doesn’t want to talk to them.
After all that they both had a little time off but shortly after they got a call and we had to fly to california again.
It wasn’t planned and we only got a hotel room for 3 days because after that other people had booked it and on day three we had to be out before 14:00.
******************
Everyone was cheering. I was sitting in a corner of the room of the police department after Holden and Bill had caught a murderer.
“This guy right here.”, a man points at Holden, holding his drink in the other hand.
“He’s the modern-day Sherlock holmes!”, he says and the other cops agree and start clapping.
“That makes you Dr. Watson!”, he says pointing at Bill and the room fills with laughter and more cheers.
Holden gives a short speech after that and we stay there for a little longer, drinking and chatting.
I was allowed to drink one glass of that disgusting drink but it made me a little more open for talking.
We walked out the door, towards the car.
It was already dark outside and Bill fumbles with the car keys before dropping them.
He sighs loudly before he looks at Holden and says:”If only you could shine a light on the darkness you could illuminate my keys.”, making fun of Holden's speech.
Holden rolls his eyes and walks towards the car.
I let out a short laugh and Bill grins at me.
We drove home and went to bed. I instantly fell into a deep sleep and the first thing I heard the next morning was my Uncle cussing.
“f*ck no! I’m not taking her with us to that face-f*cker.”
I opened my eyes and turned around looking at both men who were already getting ready for the day.
“What is it that you curse like that in the morning..?”, I asked him with a tired voice.
“We have to leave the hotel before 2 and we have an Interview with Kemper and Holden seriously suggested that we take you with us.”, Bill told me while looking at Holden with a stern look.
“But I would actually like to co-”
“I know that it would interest you but you know what he did! He killed girls like you and did unspeakable things with their dead bodys.”
“I know but he is in prison.”, I said, trying to convince him.
“No! I will stay with you and we will go golfing.”, Bill said.
“Bill, you can’t leave me with him again.” “I don’t want to go golfing!”, me and Holden said at the same time.
Bill sighed and let his head hang.
He is thinking for a moment.
“No. I’m not going in there with you.”
I sighed, annoyed and kind of disappointed.
We ate breakfast and after that we went back to our room, packed our stuff and made our way to the prison.
When we were in front of the gate Holden looked at Bill, pleading.
My uncle just stared at him. Then his eyes snapped to me and he sighed, turning his head forward.
He slowly begins to nod.
“Ok. We will do that. Holden and I will be there too so nothing should happen.”
I cheered inwardly but also got a little nervous.
Both men put their weapons away and before we could go the man said:”Are you sure you want her to be there too?”
“Yes. It’s gonna be ok. We won’t leave them alone.”, Holden said and the guy nodded.
We walked through the prison and into a room with several desks and chairs.
Bill and Holden sat down on two chairs in front of one of the desks on the right.
“You are gonna sit back there.”, Bill said, pointing at the desk behind us. I nodded and sat onto the desk with my legs hanging down.
With every minute that passed I got more and more nervous and as I heard chains rattle my heart jumped.
Jesus f*ck is that guy tall. I though and stared at Edmund f*cking Kemper.
“Please get the cuffs off.”, Holden told the guard and he did as he was told.
Kemper smiled kindly at Bill and Holden.
Ed didn’t seem to have seen me yet.
“Hey Bill, Holden.” he nodded towards them with the same smile on his face.
“Hey Ed.”, they said in sync and as soon as they said that Ed’s eyes looked at me and he tilted his head slightly.
“And.. who are you if I may ask?”, Kemper asked, staring at me.
“I’m-”
"That's Janet. My Niece. She had to come with us today. I hope that’s not a problem.”, Bill said while studying Ed who was still looking at me.
He then looked at Bill and nodded:”Not a problem at all.”
“Nice to meet you, Janet..”, Ed said before he stepped towards the empty chair on the other side of the desk where the two agents were sitting.
“Oh uhm.. Please call me Rebecca or Beck.”, I said, slightly nervous but also fascinated.
He looked at me again tilting his head again.
“Well… You don’t like your name I suppose?”, he asked.
“Not- not really. I- Rebecca is my second name. My mothers name was Janet.”, I told him and he nodded understanding.
He looked at Bill and Holden and they began talking and I listened and stared at Ed.
He was massive. Terrifyingly massive even.
I couldn’t stop looking at him. The way he talked fascinated me and I even caught myself thinking about the fact that he actually looks really good.
For the first time Holden had a recorder with him so he didn’t have to write everything down.
“I’m sorry Ed, do you mean that violence in movies drove you to kill those women?”, Bill asked, while smoking his first cigarette.
“No. My point is, in reality, it doesn’t work as you expect. When you stab somebody they’re supposed to fall dead. They go ‘oohh…’”
I chuckled at his mimic and Bill and Ed looked at me. Bill wasn’t very amused but Ed grinned at me.
Then he focused on Bill again.
“And they fall dead, right?”
“Right.”
“In reality if you stab somebody, they lose blood pressure and they leak to death very slowly. So I was reluctant, I didn’t enjoy it.”, he told us.
Holden was turning the mic a little louder and Ed asks:”Did you get that on tape?”
“Yeah.” Holden moves the mic in front of Ed but Kemper gets up and walks away a little.
“You know, it all really goes back to my perceived inability to communicate socially, sexually. I was scared to death of failing in male-female relationships, even sitting down to talk to a young lady.”, he said.
I looked at him with a small sad expression on my face and tilted my head a little to the side, thinking and I felt a little sorry for him. He locked eyes with me and I am not sure if he could see that I felt kind of sorry for him.
He stared at me and said:”I wanted to communicate.”
Then he looked at Bill again.
"Ironically enough that’s why I began picking people up. I pick a girl up and I go a bit further each time. It’s a daring kind of a thing. Like first there wasn’t a gun. Then I’m driving along, we go to a vulnerable place where there aren’t people watching, but I say:’No I can’t”.
“So you picked up women but didn’t kill them.”, My uncle asked.
“But then, a gun is in the car, and this craving, this awful raging, eating feeling is inside me. I would’ve loved to have just rape them, but not having any experience at all. I could feel it consuming my insides, this fantastic passion.”
They talk for a little longer before all of a sudden Ed walks towards Holden, puts his finger at his neck and shows us how to cut a person's throat.
“You need to cut it from ear to ear.”, he says and explains it a little further before he places his massive hand on Holdens shoulder and looks at me again.
I can’t keep the small and friendly smile from forming on my face and he kindly smiles back.
Then he walked back and sat back down.
It’s scary how he seems like such a nice and intelligent guy but deep down he is what some people would call “a monster”.
It’s a little shocking to hear him say all that like it's normal small talk but I am so fascinated by it that it doesn’t even scare me off. It just makes him even more appealing.
“You know when I confessed to the police, they drove me through California and we stopped by a diner for some food. Some attractive young ladies walked by the car. I vomited.”
My eyes got wide and I leaned my upper body a little forward looking at him in disbelief.
He turned his head away from Bill and looked past Holden and into my eyes.
“Crazy, huh?”, he said directed to me and I just looked at him.
They continue their conversation and I listen carefully until they start talking about his mother.
“She says: Oh, I suppose you wanna sit up all night and talk now?”, he said.
I looked at him. I saw something in his eyes.
It was silent for a moment.
“sh*t…”, Ed said silently, looking away.
“And I said: No, Good night.”, I looked at him with sad eyes, listening intensely, watching his every move.
“And I knew I was gonna kill her.”, his voice broke and it seemed like he was fighting tears.
I got up and walked up to them next to Bill who looked at me with a “are you serious” expression.
Ed looked at me and I smiled kindly at him while Bill got me a chair.
I sat down between Holden and Bill and kept my eyes fixated on Kemper.
A minute later the door opened and I looked at the door, confused.
Ed also turned around to see what was going on.
“Pizza!”, Ed said happily.
“You guys.”
The men eat and talk. I just sit there, eat and listen to their conversation.
Ed lifts his hand a little, gesturing as if asking if he could have another slice.
“Go ahead, take another slice.”, Bill said.
“Thank you.”, Said Edmund but didn’t take a slice immediately but continued talking.
So I ripped off another slice, placed it on a napkin and held it towards him while listening intensely.
He hesitates for a second without stopping to talk and he carefully takes the pizza slice out of my hand trying not to touch my fingers with his.
I smiled at him and continued eating my piece.
“I know it's silly but mom always liked people looking up at her.”, The killer said with an amused expression on his face and I chuckled amused.
“That’s pretty good.”, I said with an amused tone and Ed chuckled at me.
The men talked for a little longer and as I reached out for the last slice of Pizza, Ed did the same and our hands touched.
“Oh sorry.”, I chuckled slightly.
“No, Sorry. You can have it.”, he said in a friendly tone.
“No, no you take it.”
He tilted his head slightly.
“We could share it. You eat the first half, I’ll eat the rest.”, he suggested and I saw Bill, in the corner of my eye, staring at Ed, daring him to do anything.
“Sure. Thank you.” I said and took the slice in my hand eating some of it while the men got back into their conversation.
After a few minutes I placed the rest of the slice down and Kemper took it, finishing it.
When we were done we all stood up and that was the first time where Ed was standing directly in front of me and I had to lift my head very much to look into his face.
My eyes got wider again and I looked at him.
Bill shook Ed’s hand and Holden did the same. Then Ed looked at me as if not sure if he should do the same or not.
I looked at my Uncle but he was talking to Holden so I quickly extended my arm towards the killer and he carefully took it in his, shaking it slightly.
“It was nice meeting you, Beck.”, he said with a calm tone and a small smile formed on my face.
“It was nice meeting you too, Ed.”
His mouth twitched into a short smile and he let go of my hand.
We all walked toward the door where Ed got his cuffs put on again and we said goodbye.
“Wasn’t so bad, was it?”, Holden asked Bill and he just rolled his eyes.
“If he tried anything as you two unintentionally touched your hands I would have stabbed his cuffs into his eyes.”
I started laughing and said:”But he didn’t do anything. Besides that, we shook hands at the end when you weren’t looking so chill.”
“You did what?”, Bill asked in shock.
“Hey Bill, nothing happened, calm down, he was just being friendly.”, Holden said.
“Yes of course, ‘Friendly’. He is gonna jerk off with that hand he touched you with and I am pretty sure he doesn’t have sex in this hell so he must be frustrated and that was the first time he saw a young girl after 7 years in prison.”
I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
“Well then let him jerk off. I don’t care. Don’t talk like you never jerked off in your life. He didn’t kill me, that's all that counts, right?”
Holden laughed and Bill started the car.
We drove to the airport and flew back home.
